How do Children Cope with Loss at Different Ages?

By: Matthew Funeral Home
Monday, March 5, 2018


Everyone handles the concept of death differently; especially children. At different ages, children may experience loss in different ways, as they develop a deeper understanding of death and they mature emotionally. At every level of childhood development, death can be a hard concept to grasp, so it is important to work with your child to help them through it. The most important thing is that no 2 people, not even twins, will process grief in the same way, so it helps to work with them as well as you can. It is important to let them talk out their emotions, and to let them ask questions. Whether it is a family member or a pet who has passed, a child will not always be able to fully comprehend all of their emotions.

Infants

Babies and infants will have little to no understanding of loss, but the unexpected changes in their routine due to the loss can make them irritable and cranky. The lack of attention they may experience during the mourning period may also make them act out.

Preschoolers

At this age, young children have a base understanding of death, but most of it comes from cartoons. Preschoolers often think of death as something reversible or temporary. It is important to be honest with them about the permanence of death. This is also the age that children will ask “why?” to everything. Be as open with your children about death as you feel is right, but let them ask questions. 

Elementary

For kids in elementary school, death is often felt as a more personified concept. They will often feel that the loss is  “not fair,” and may not fully grasp the circumstances surrounding their loved one’s passing. Denial and Anger are the biggest stages of grief for children at this age. 

Middle Schoolers

By this age, most children will understand the concept of death, and will either hope or assume that it will not occur for them until they are very old. They will often be engaged in learning the details of why someone died. While they will feel loss, children at this age are often intrigued by the details surrounding the death. They may ask to touch the body as well. At this age, children may begin to form their own beliefs and personal philosophies about life. The death of a close friend or relative may make them question their beliefs.

High Schoolers

Most adolescents will experience very strong emotions, especially about death. But, often, they do not have the experience of an adult to fully grasp the severity of it all. Some teenagers may experience a deep depression. Sometimes, a teenager may act out by “taunting” death. They may act recklessly when driving; or experiment with drugs and alcohol. Be stern with discipline in these cases, as it helps for an adolescent to experience some sort of structure when they feel like their whole world is changing. It is important that you help them to talk out their emotions. It may be helpful to provide them with a more safe or constructive way for them to release their pent up emotions. 
For almost 50 years, Matthew Funeral Home has been serving the Staten Island community. We can help with almost every aspect of your loved one’s memorial service. Our family is here to serve yours, every step of the way.

Leave a comment
Name*:
Email:
Comment*:
Please enter the numbers and letters you see in the image. Note that the case of the letters entered matters.

Comments

Please wait

Previous Posts

Alcohol Use and Coping with Grief

While in grief, many people turn to things that can comfort or distract them. It is not uncommon for some people to reach for alcohol in this way. For many people, alcohol can serve as a way to avo...

Apathy and Grief

On this blog, we often talk about how grief is a complicated emotion, and how everyone experiences it differently. However, we don’t often talk about grief and apathy. Apathy is a state of numbness...

Etiquette for Donating In a Loved One's Name

Some individuals or their families request donations to charity in place of flowers during the bereavement period. Most families will appreciate the donation in their loved one’s name. Especially i...

Grief and Losing Online Friends

In our technology-based world, more and more people have developed friendships completely in cyberspace. Consistent communication with gaming partners, online community members, and more allows us ...

Sending Sympathy Meals to a Loved One

When a friend or family member passes away, it is a common practice to send sympathy meals to the immediate family. Sympathy meals show your support for the family while providing them with food. W...

Validating Feelings of Grief

Grief is one of the most complex and misunderstood emotions for people to experience. One way to help your loved one cope with their grief is to validate their feelings. Supporting a loved one who ...

When a Loved One Receives a Terminal Diagnosis

When a loved one finds out that they have a terminal illness, it can be overwhelming to navigate the next steps. It can be difficult to know where to start. Preparations for care, end-of-life servi...

Choosing Your Loved One's Urn

When choosing an urn for your loved one’s cremated remains, there are many aspects to consider. Urns come in an array of shapes, sizes, colors, styles, and materials. It can be difficult to figure ...

Preplanning: Taking Charge of Your Own Funeral

There are many reasons to preplan your funeral, from mitigating costs to making your funeral easier for your loved ones upon your passing. But one important aspect of preplanning your funeral is es...

When is Grief Good?

Grief can make us feel like a great weight rests on our shoulders. Grieving can be a challenging, and often overwhelming, experience. Although grief is brought upon us by loss and sorrow, is it tru...