Survivor's Guilt & Coping with Grief

By: Matthew Funeral Home
Monday, May 22, 2023

After a traumatic or sudden passing of a loved one, it is common for people to experience Survivor’s Guilt. Survivor’s Guilt is a type of grief that creates feelings of wrong-doing surrounding the loss of a loved one. It is often observed in war veterans, cancer survivors, and survivors of tragic events. This article will explore the signs associated with Survivor’s Guilt, and how to cope with it.

Survivor’s Guilt and Grief

Grief can sometimes be unbearable, but it is how the body and mind process tragic loss and pain. Unlike grief, Survivor’s Guilt does not help you process this pain in a healthy way. Dealing with this guilt is important to begin the healing process of your grief. The first step is to accept that you don’t have all the answers. Those dealing with Survivor’s Guilt will often ask themselves:

  • Why did this happen?
  • Why did I survive?
  • What else could I have done?
  • Why couldn’t I save others?

It is important to understand that you won’t have all of the answers. Accepting that there is nothing more that can be done is the first step in overcoming these feelings of grief and heartache. 

Misplaced Responsibility

Overall, misplaced responsibility can be a major part of Survivor’s Guilt. Could you have done more? You may find yourself replaying the events in your head, and trying to see what more you could have done. This is rooted in irrational thinking. You must accept that there is nothing more that can be done. You can’t turn back time. Trying to find ways you could have done more will only deepen feelings of guilt.

Survivor’s Guilt and PTSD

One common symptom of PTSD is Survivor’s Guilt. Many people suffering from this ask themselves why they survived when others did not. It can be challenging to accept that you survived a tragic event, and suffered the way you did. When others' lives are lost in the same event, it can seem easy to question why you survived. But, it is important to see your survival as a positive, as difficult as that may be. 

Survivor’s Guilt and Life-Threatening Illness

Many survivors of life-threatening illnesses feel some level of Survivor’s Guilt. Survivors of cancer, and now even COVID-19, feel this way. They may question why they survived when so many others lost their lives. They may also feel guilty for all of the grief their loved ones felt during their fight. But the important thing to understand is that you are overcoming something deadly and that you have another chance to do more in life. 

Consider Seeking Professional Help

Survivor’s Guilt can be a painful process that can take a lot to overcome. It is ok to ask for help. Consider seeking professional assistance from a counselor or therapist. Just like any form of grief, Survivor’s Guilt won’t go away overnight. Working with a therapist that you can trust can help you work through these feelings.

The author of this post is not a professional therapist or counselor. For assistance in finding a grief counselor that is right for you, there are a number of resources out there. For our Grief Resource center, written by Dr. Bill Webster, click here
For almost 50 years, Matthew Funeral Home has been serving the Staten Island community. We can help with almost every aspect of your loved one’s memorial service. Our family is here to serve yours, every step of the way.

Leave a comment
Name*:
Email:
Comment*:
Please enter the numbers and letters you see in the image. Note that the case of the letters entered matters.

Comments

Please wait

Previous Posts

Donating Your Body To Science

Body donation is a process that very few Americans decide to participate in. But, it is a practice that can lead to advances in medical science, improved medical training procedures, and more. This...

Using Coping Mechanisms for Grief

When you hear the term “Coping Mechanism,” it is often in a negative context. However, that is not always the case. Coping mechanisms can help you deal with the short-term effects of grief. When us...

What To Expect at a Graveside Burial Service

A graveside burial service, also sometimes referred to as a committal service, is an essential part of the funeral service for some cultures. Primarily seen in catholic services, the commital is a ...

Oversized Caskets FAQ

Caskets are generally designed to fit a wide assortment of body types. However, some people may require an oversized casket. An oversized casket is used if an individual’s height, weight, or width ...

Flying With Cremated Remains

Traveling with cremated remains, or cremains can have its challenges. Whether you are moving to a new state or country or bringing your loved one home with you, it is important to understand the pr...

Processing Grief Through Reading for Children

Grief can be hard at any age, but for children and young teens, expressing and processing grief can be especially challenging. It is a very complex emotion, and some children may not be able to ful...

Searching for the Right Grief Counselor

The passing of a loved one can be incredibly painful. The grief of loss often seems unbearable. After the death of someone close, some extra guidance can be helpful. Grief counselors assist those w...

Valentine's Day Without Your Significant Other

Holidays can often be a trigger for grief after the loss of a spouse or long-term partner. Memories of holidays together can pop up from store displays, themed commercials, and more. With Valentine...

Celebrating the Passing of a Long Life

After a long life lived, losing an elderly loved one can be devastating. Your whole life, they have been there for you, and now they are gone. But after a long life lived, it is also an opportunity...

Metal or Wood Caskets

Choosing a casket is an important part of the funeral process. Many families choose the casket after their loved one has passed, but some people choose their casket ahead of time. This article will...