Grief and Losing Online Friends

In our technology-based world, more and more people have developed friendships completely in cyberspace. Consistent communication with gaming partners, online community members, and more allows us to grow our social circle and form bonds with people we never met in person. With the past year and a half of the pandemic, more people than ever have found meaningful social interaction from their computers, consoles, and phone apps. When we lose someone in our online community, the grief we feel can often be as concrete as the loss of a real-life friend. This article will discuss how to deal with the grief of losing an online companion, and ways you can memorialize them outside of a traditional service. 

The Legitimacy of Virtual Communities

Online interaction is a legitimate way for many people to find their place in the world. Online communities help us find ourselves, and interact with people whose interests align with our own. Apps like Discord allow us to find people to find or establish communities based on games or other interests. And people with lifestyles that can feel isolating can find their tribe online. Chatting, gaming, and joking around with members of your online community can be just as fulfilling as real-life relationships. It is important to understand and legitimize feelings of grief when one of them passes away. 

Cyber-Grief and Real Life

When dealing with the loss of an online friend, it can be hard to explain your grief to those around you in real life. Parents and older family members especially might not understand grief for someone you have only interacted with online. Thankfully, the overall attitude towards online relationships has grown more positive as the internet has become a more prevalent part of everyday life. Grief from online communities can affect us in real life. It is important to understand that grief is a natural part of the healing process, and it affects everyone differently. If you are struggling with your grief, consider seeking help. Counselors, therapists, and support groups are all potential sources that can be beneficial to work through grief. And many services allow you to talk with grief counselors or therapists confidentially online, too.

Online Memorials

Your online community can come together to honor the memory of the member you’ve lost. This may on the nature of the community, and what you did with the one who passed. This could include holding a virtual memorial ceremony in the game you played together or just having an online conversation where those who are grieving can talk through their feelings with each other. Crafting-based games, such as Minecraft, give you the unique opportunity to create a virtual memorial to your fallen friend. Holding a memorial service in your online community is a great way for you and other members of your community to come together and honor the life of your friend. 

The author of this post is not a professional therapist or counselor. For assistance in finding a grief counselor that is right for you, there are a number of resources out there. For our Grief Resource center, written by Dr. Bill Webster, click here. 
For over 50 years, Matthew Funeral Home has been serving the Staten Island community. We can help with almost every aspect of your loved one’s memorial service. Our family is here to serve yours, every step of the way.