Can You Make it to the Wake?

By: Matthew Funeral Home
Monday, May 7, 2018


When someone passes away, it is expected for friends and family alike to gather to say their final farewells. Many people understand the solemn obligation of attending a funeral or wake; but some people may be unsure if they can attend the end-of-life celebration. If you are questioning whether or not you can attend the event, ask yourself these questions. A wake is, for many people, a place for closure, a place to make peace with their loved one’s passing, and a place to say their last goodbyes.

Relationship to the Deceased

Your relation to the deceased and/or their immediate family should be the first determining factor on if you can make it. Even if you do not know the deceased personally, but you are close with a family member, it may be a good idea to show your support by going. You should ask yourself these questions to help determine whether or not you should try your best to go. When did you last speak with them? How well do you know the family or the individual? What is the nature of your relationship to the deceased, or a family member? 

Distance to the Wake

Wakes aren’t always a stone’s throw away. You might need to consider travel time and how to get there if you are determining if you can go. For distant funerals, it may sometimes be a question if it is even possible to go. If the funeral is close to home, it will be of course more feasible to go than one 4 hours away. Travelling for a wake can be made easier by seeing who else is going, and travelling together.

Timing

No death is timely. The passing of a loved one puts the lives of those affected on hold as plans need to be made, forms filled out, and grief sets in. But as for attendants of the wake; sometimes you just can not make it. A new project at work, a sick child, or other life events can make you unavailable. In this case, you should be sure to express your condolences to the family. If you are close with the family, you might want to apologize for being unable to go.

Your Health

If you are unable to make it to a funeral because of your personal health, then it would be understandable to miss it. You should still try your best to express your condolences to the family and show them that they and their loved one are in your thoughts. As little as a phone call can make a difference to the family.

If You Can’t Go

It happens to all of us. You may not be able to attend the wake or funeral for any number of reasons. It is still important to show respect and send your regards to the family of the deceased. If you are unable to go to the wake because of timing, distance, or your health; sending flowers can express your condolences and brighten the moods of the mourners. Flowers are a visual representation of your love and sympathy. They are the best way to honor the memory of your loved one. You can even send flowers to the home of the family, instead of the funeral home. 

For almost 50 years, Matthew Funeral Home has been serving the Staten Island community. We can help with almost every aspect of your loved one’s memorial service. Our family is here to serve yours, every step of the way.

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