When is Grief Good?

Grief can make us feel like a great weight rests on our shoulders. Grieving can be a challenging, and often overwhelming, experience. Although grief is brought upon us by loss and sorrow, is it truly a bad thing? Grief, although hard to deal with and overcome, is how your brain helps you through tremendous hardship and loss. Below, we will discuss when grief can be important to your well-being. 

Accepting Your Grief

Let’s face it. Grief isn’t a fun emotion. No one wants to experience it. We often fear the emotions caused by it; the heartache, the pain, the emptiness. This fear usually becomes denial. Denial of your circumstances, of the feelings. Until you accept the circumstances of your grief, you do not truly feel the weight of it. We often lie to ourselves to avoid the hurt in times of grief. We say things like “I don’t have time to be sad,” or “dealing with my grief only makes it worse.” But grief will come whether or not you have the time for it. It is normal to feel grief. It is normal to feel sad after the loss of a loved one. You can’t shut out the emotions. We all have to embrace and weather it. 

Grief Doesn’t Follow Your Schedule

You can’t deal with your grief on your own time. Grief is unpredictable. You can’t just shut it off until your day at work is done, or until you are alone. Grief isn’t a part of your schedule, and that is OK. You may never know what could trigger it. Someone may walk by wearing a perfume that reminds you of your loved one, or a song might come up on the radio that triggers a memory of them. It is OK to feel grief at these times. 

Finding Joy While Grieving

One thing that many who are grieving fail to realize is that it is fine to feel some happiness in times of grief. Some people feel guilty for experiencing a little joy, or cracking a smile while experiencing grief. It is normal to try to enjoy something while in grief; be it a funny movie or a hobby. Finding the moments of joy within periods of grief can be cathartic. The reason loss is painful is because of all of the joy that your loved one has brought you. Don’t feel guilty for having a bit of fun while grieving. Accepting a little joy in your life once more is a strong step in the healing process. 

The author of this post is not a professional therapist or counselor. For assistance in finding a grief counselor that is right for you, there are a number of resources out there. For our Grief Resource Center, written by Dr. Bill Webster, click here.

For over 50 years, Matthew Funeral Home has been serving the Staten Island community. We can help with almost every aspect of your loved one’s memorial service. Our family is here to serve yours, every step of the way.