Sudden vs Predictable Loss and Grief

By: Matthew Funeral Home
Monday, June 11, 2018


Grief affects us all in different ways. With the loss of a loved one, grieving is a necessary part of the healing process. When the loss is sudden, the grief can be devastating. When the loss had been mounting for a long time, such as with a loved one on life support, the grief can be just as painful. But sudden loss and predictable loss are felt in different ways, and the grief we feel in these times of heartache can be weigh heavily upon us. 

Sudden Loss

Sudden events that take loved ones away from us can be extremely painful. Car accidents, crime, suicide, and other types of unexpected deaths can result in the feelings of sudden loss. The grief of an unforeseen passing of a loved one can leave you reeling. Common reactions to this type of loss include insomnia, nightmares, depression, social isolation, or anxiety. 
Many people, in the face of sudden loss, will attempt to avoid everyday scenarios in an attempt to avoid a similar fate. For example, it isn’t uncommon for the child or spouse of someone who passed away in a car accident to fear driving. Whether this behavior ends up being long- or short-term, it is our grief combining with our survival instincts.

Predictable Loss

Predictable Loss refers to the death of a loved one, with the expectation of it happening. While awful to think about, we know deep down that as our loved ones age, it is more likely for them to pass away. Common examples of predictable loss include loved ones with terminal illnesses, those of truly old age, or on life support. Their passing is no less painful; but mentally, we are more prepared for this loss. 
In some cases, the grief settles in before the loved one’s passing, in mounting anticipation of the loss. For some people, when the loss is anticipated for so long, the grief lessens once their loved one has passed. This is completely normal; especially if your loved one has been suffering and for so long.

Mourning and Sudden Loss

In cases of Sudden Loss, the mourning process can be painful. We are told to expect the unexpected, but we never truly expect this. Loss that comes as a sudden shock to us can be harder to overcome. The mourning period for sudden losses are often longer.

Mourning and Predictable Loss

The fact that the passing is anticipated does not make the void that your loved one leaves in your heart any smaller. Loss is painful, in any form. But for these losses, it is easier for mourners to look towards the life of the deceased, rather than the death. Funerals can be celebrations on the life they lived, and the people they touched.
The author of this post is not a professional therapist or counselor. For assistance in finding a grief counselor that is right for you, there are a number of resources out there. For our Grief Resource center, written by Dr. Bill Webster, click here
For almost 50 years, Matthew Funeral Home has been serving the Staten Island community. We can help with almost every aspect of your loved one’s memorial service. Our family is here to serve yours, every step of the way.

Leave a comment
Name*:
Email:
Comment*:
Please enter the numbers and letters you see in the image. Note that the case of the letters entered matters.

Comments

Please wait

Previous Posts

How Does Cremation Work?

Most people understand that cremation is a process by which the remains of the deceased are burned and converted to ashes. But there are many steps to the process in order to ensure that everything...

What To Do When a Loved One Passes

When a loved one passes, there is going to be a lot of pain and grief. Loved ones will need to be contacted and brought together. But there are also a few practical steps that need to be taken, as ...

Combating Senior Loneliness After the Loss of a Spouse

After the loss of an elderly loved one, their spouse can feel incredibly lonely. After spending a long time with a partner, losing a spouse can be difficult. For many, this is a time of learning to...

Why You Should Consider Cremation

Cremation is a topic that many people may find uncomfortable or difficult to discuss. For a long time, it was not accepted by many major religions, most notably Catholicism. However, it is an impor...

Leaving Your Digital Assets Behind in 2023

The internet has evolved in many ways since the advent of the smartphone. And more people use social media and other websites to express themselves daily. Many elderly individuals have learned how ...

Essential Coping Tools When Dealing With Loss

After the loss of a loved one, you may feel like your whole life is turned upside down. And after dealing with funeral arrangements and families coming in from out of town, it can be hard to pick u...

Supporting a Bereaved Coworker

When a coworker has a death in the family, it can be important to support them during their difficult time. There is no clear-cut or easy way to help someone who is grieving. But lending a supporti...

Processing Anger in Grief

Anger is the second stage of grief, and it is often one of the hardest to deal with. Anger can be a raw emotion, and it is easy to be overwhelmed during your grief. This article will discuss how an...

What Does My Religion Say About Cremation?

Cremation is rapidly becoming more and more popular in America, with a projected over 54% of Americans opting to cremate in 2020. If you or a loved one are considering choosing cremation for your e...

Reasons You May Want to Contest A Will

After your loved one passes, their Will will be presented, if they have one. It is possible that you have some issues with how your loved one has divided their estate. Generally, an individual shou...