On the Death of a Spouse

By: Matthew Funeral Home
Monday, July 2, 2018


The loss of a spouse is a devastating tragedy. The losing of a spouse means losing a best friend, a teammate, a lover, and a confidant. If you have children, it means helping them cope and live without their mother or father. Not only is the grief often overwhelming, but now there are responsibilities to be taken over as well. The burden of the surviving spouse is a hard cross to bear. We don’t realize how much we depend on a spouse, whether it is daily tasks or emotional support and love.

Responsibilities

Based on how responsibilities were divided; there might be a lot thrown onto your plate. You may have to quickly learn to handle finances, home or automotive maintenance, and domestic chores normally handled by your spouse. 

Children

Children are often as busy as their parents. It can be difficult to juggle your responsibilities, your spouse’s, and the schedules of your children; all while you grieve as a family. The loss of a parent can be devastating to a child, and the effects of this loss can be exacerbated by changes to their day to day schedules. Children of all ages experience loss and grief in different ways. Click here to learn more about children and loss at different ages. 

Isolation & Depression

When a spouse dies, it is common for the widow(er) to feel isolated and depressed. Especially in elderly couples, where social interaction with others is often limited, the loss of a partner can cause them to become isolated from the world. It is not uncommon for elderly spouses to pass within a few weeks of each other, because of the dependence they had for their loved one. 

Overcoming Grief

Regardless of how long you were with your spouse, each person grieves differently and on their own time. Grief is not an exact science; and everyone must experience grief in their own way. There will be days where the grief is harder than others. It is alright to feel, to hurt, to mourn.
You will need to recognize that you can not heal without embracing your feelings, and allowing yourself to think about your loss. You can’t lock away your grief. Consider joining a support group. They can serve as a vital part to the healing process. The opportunity to talk about your loved one, their life, and their death. Putting into words what you miss about them, your feelings of loneliness, anger, and many others can allow you to start to accept the loss.

The author of this post is not a professional therapist or counselor. For assistance in finding a grief counselor that is right for you, there are a number of resources out there. For our Grief Resource center, written by Dr. Bill Webster, click here
For almost 50 years, Matthew Funeral Home has been serving the Staten Island community. We can help with almost every aspect of your loved one’s memorial service. Our family is here to serve yours, every step of the way.
 

Leave a comment
Name*:
Email:
Comment*:
Please enter the numbers and letters you see in the image. Note that the case of the letters entered matters.

Comments

Please wait

Previous Posts

Alcohol Abuse and Grief

When grieving, many people turn to things that can comfort or distract them from the pain. It is not uncommon for some people to reach for a bottle of alcohol for this. For many people, alcohol can...

A Guide to Sympathy Meals

When a friend or family member passes away, people may send sympathy meals to the immediate family. Sympathy meals are a good way to show your support for the family while providing them with a mea...

Aging Loved Ones and Care Options

The elderly stage of life can be a difficult time for many people. As time goes on, you may notice that your aging loved one is moving slower, unable to take care of themselves properly, or becomin...

Donating to a Charity Post-Mortem

It feels good to help others. Whether you donate your time or money, helping a charitable cause is a good way to help those in need. It is not uncommon for altruistic individuals to leave some sort...

Grief After The Loss of A Pet

Pets are always there for us. They greet us at the door when we come home, they keep us company, and they comfort us when we need cheering up. Your pets aren’t just animals, they are an essential p...

Jewish Funeral Rites are Eco-Friendly

While green burials tend to be a newer concept, making choices in your funeral plans to be more eco-friendly is not. In fact, the Jewish faith and tradition tend to follow more eco-friendly practic...

Showing Support If You Miss The Funeral

Funerals are a time to say a final goodbye to those lost, and a chance to come together in mourning. The funeral is also a time to provide support to those closest to the deceased. If you are unabl...

Remembering Those Who Served

As Memorial Day is on the horizon, we look for ways to honor those who have fought for our country. Memorial Day for many people is a time for barbeques and parades. But, many people have lost a cl...

Event: Learn About Memorial Day

Matthew Funeral Home is offering an opportunity for children of the community to learn about Memorial Day. Join us for a memorial mass and a tribute to those who served our country on Monday, May 3...

Religious Holidays and Losing the Older Generation

With religious holidays such as Easter, Ramadan, and Passover just around the corner, it is common for those of faith to follow their respective traditions. As more of the younger generations becom...