Grief During A Pregnancy

By: Matthew Funeral Home
Monday, August 19, 2019


There is a lot of joy in pregnancy. A new baby on the way can be exciting. But when you have to face the grief of losing a loved one during a pregnancy, it can feel odd to be happy. There can be a lot of conflicting emotions, and plenty of stress. It can be hard for you to picture your little one growing up without this person in their life. How does one cope with such emotional extremes, on both ends of the spectrum? Sometimes it may feel like a lot to deal with, so we are here to lend a hand.

Emotional Extremes

Humans are complex creatures. Not only can we feel complex emotions, such as love, joy, anger, despair, and grief; but we can experience all of them at once. It can be weird to feel deeply sad about the loss of a loved one, and still feel all of the happiness that comes from a pregnancy. Some people may feel guilty about it. But it is OK to feel happy and sad at the same time. Part of grieving is finding the lights that we can cling to amidst all of the darkness. And a new baby in the family is certainly a bright light. However, pregnancy hormones can heighten emotional extremes, and this can hit you like a ton of bricks. The highest highs and the lowest lows can feel ever more so. When you feel despair and joy in their extremes, it can be confusing and disorienting. 

Keep Grieving

You don’t have to hold off on grieving just because of the pregnancy. It is alright to cry it out. It is fine if you can’t muster up any happiness for your pregnancy, or if you feel guilty about your happiness taking time away from your grief. Neither emotion has to be moved to the back burner. Everyone processes emotions differently; and now you are processing for two, in a way. 

Find Your Release

Everyone has their own way of dealing with and overcoming their grief. Finding the things that allow you release your emotions can be difficult when there is a baby growing in your belly. Try exploring some of the things people do to make their pregnancy less stressful. Exercise, however much you can do while pregnant, can be effective at beating grief and staying healthy during pregnancy. Write something down. Keeping a journal can be an effective way to let out some grief. Journaling can also be a good way to keep track of important days of the pregnancy, like the first kick or different doctors visits.

Create a Legacy

You can’t always be as active during a pregnancy as with your normal life. Take some of this well needed downtime to work on your grief, and to create something for your deceased loved one that can be cherished. Create a scrapbook. Make something to remember them by that you can share with your children one day. You may even consider naming your child after your lost loved one.

Looking Ahead

Your grief won’t end when the baby comes. Grief has a way of sneaking up on you, both on dark and happy days. A new baby is a wonderful thing that can be the source of a lot of stress. It is important to know how to cope with your grief, whenever it decides to spring up. But, there will be many new memories to come with your new baby. Look forward to all the amazing moments you will share with your child, and how your life has been influenced by the deceased. 

The author of this post is not a professional therapist or counselor. For assistance in finding a grief counselor that is right for you, there are a number of resources out there. For our Grief Resource center, written by Dr. Bill Webster, click here.
For almost 50 years, Matthew Funeral Home has been serving the Staten Island community. We can help with almost every aspect of your loved one’s memorial service. Our family is here to serve yours, every step of the way. 

Leave a comment
Name*:
Email:
Comment*:
Please enter the numbers and letters you see in the image. Note that the case of the letters entered matters.

Comments

Please wait

Previous Posts

DIY Memorial Projects

There are many ways to honor the memory of a loved one. For those with a deft hand at crafts, there are a number of home projects that can help you memorialize your loved one’s life. This article w...

Why Sending Flowers to a Funeral is Important

Flowers have been a vital part of burial rites for most of human history. In fact, humans have been using flowers in funeral rites for over 60,000 years. While ancient peoples did not usually have ...

Going Back to Work After Losing a Loved One

After the loss of a loved one, it can be a difficult process to return to the workplace. While work can help you get back to a routine, for many people getting back to “normal” can feel impossible....

Grief and National Tragedies: the 20th Anniversary of the 9/11 Attacks

Every year, Americans remember those we lost in the tragic 9/11 attacks in 2001. Now, on its 20th anniversary, it is important to look to those who are experiencing personal grief today.  Per...

Do I Need A Will?

A Will is an important document for establishing how your assets are distributed upon your passing. Most people think that they do not need a Will until they own a house or have children. But, it i...

A Beautiful Metaphor for The Stages of Grief: Gris

Grief can be processed and expressed in a number of ways, as we have discussed many times on this blog. And while we all experience it in a wide variety of ways, there are some common experiences t...

Accepting How Your Loved One Died

Grief is a powerful and complex emotion, especially when coping with the loss of a loved one. For many people, confronting the cause of death can be a difficult process. However, it can be an impo...

Improving Longevity in Your 50's

Your fifties should be the age where you can start to wind down; but unfortunately, it is also when many people really start to feel the effects of aging. It can be a good time to reflect and make ...

Helping Teens Cope With Parental Loss

The loss of a loved one is never an easy shoulder to bear, much less so when you are a teenager. The loss of a parent or guardian can weigh heavily on the mind and spirit. It can be hard to find co...

How Long After Death is the Funeral Held?

Most funerals tend to happen only days after a loved one’s death, but how long after death are most funerals held? What determines the timeline for the funeral? How long after a loved one’s death d...