Men Showing Grief

It can often be hard for men to show emotions, especially in the face of pain and grief. There is a societal notion that one needs to “man up,” or shut down emotional pain. Keeping pain and feelings of loss bottled up is unhealthy. When you lose a close friend or family member, it is not your job to man up. It is your job to mourn, to feel, to allow yourself to accept the loss of your loved one. 

Grief is Unpredictable

Grief can be very unpredictable. Grief can feel numb one day, and raw the next. Different days can trigger feelings, such as a birthday, deathday, anniversaries or certain holidays. It is important to accept your feelings of grief rather than fighting it. 

Pressure to “Man Up”

There can be a lot of societal pressure to “man up” and be stoic in the face of pain and adversity. “Men don’t cry.” It is alright to feel pain. It is OK to feel loss. You are allowed to feel feelings, and express them. Men fight through pain and grief just like women; but it is not as accepted to do so out in the open.

Talk to Someone

For many men, opening up about feelings can seem scary, But keeping quiet and silently toiling with your grief helps no one. If you need help, reach out. If you need to talk about your grief, do so. If you need to cry, let it out.

Grief is a burden to bear, but that doesn’t mean you have to carry the weight of your grief alone. There are probably a lot of people in your life that you can turn to. If you do not feel comfortable opening up about your grief with friends or family, consider seeking professional grief specialists, or visit a grief support group.

Find Your Balance

There is a lot you can do to help with your grief. Finding what activities help you through your grief can be important. Getting enough sleep, exercising, or even just sitting in a park and getting some fresh air can all be helpful towards finding mindfulness and calm in a sea of grief. 

The author of this post is not a professional therapist or counselor. For assistance in finding a grief counselor that is right for you, there are a number of resources out there. For our Grief Resource Center, written by Dr. Bill Webster, click here. 
For almost 50 years, Matthew Funeral Home has been serving the Staten Island community. We can help with almost every aspect of your loved one’s memorial service. Our family is here to serve yours, every step of the way.