Celebrating the Birthday of a Loved One Who Has Passed

Anniversaries and holidays can be difficult after the passing of a loved one. This can also be true for their birthday. It can be a painful reminder of absence in your life; but also a reminder of good memories with them. Grief affects us all differently, especially around important dates and milestones. There are a number of things that you can do to honor your loved one’s memory for their birthday.

Visit the Cemetary

Many families try to visit their loved one’s grave or mausoleum around a birthday. You may want to leave flowers or a wreath. You may want to decorate the gravesite. Be sure to inquire with the cemetery regarding their decoration policies for your loved one’s plot, as you should abide by their rules. Most cemeteries will allow you to have a picnic by your loved one’s resting spot, or in designated areas, so you can plan your day accordingly.

Do Something with the Family

Your family members are likely feeling this grief too. Plan to get together and do something as a family. Try a favorite hobby of your loved one, or watch their favorite movie. Cook their favorite meal and eat together as a family.

Donate or Volunteer

Donations or volunteer service is a great way to honor the memory of a loved one while making a difference. If they were involved in or inspired by a specific charity, consider volunteering for the day, or donating in your loved one’s name.

Treat it Like a Normal Day

This can often be the hardest choice, but acceptance is a part of grief. Sticking to routines can be helpful in overcoming your grief. Do what is best for you, and your own healing process. You shouldn’t feel guilty about this. It is perfectly acceptable to just acknowledge the day and keep moving forward. The most important thing is that you stay kind to yourself, and give yourself time to heal from your loss. 

The author of this post is not a professional therapist or counselor. For assistance in finding a grief counselor that is right for you, there are a number of resources out there. For our Grief Resource Center, written by Dr. Bill Webster, click here.  
For almost 50 years, Matthew Funeral Home has been serving the Staten Island community. We can help with almost every aspect of your loved one’s memorial service. Our family is here to serve yours, every step of the way.