Delivering a Eulogy

By: Matthew Funeral Home
Monday, October 5, 2020

When a close family member or friend passes away, the responsibility may fall upon you to give a eulogy. While giving a eulogy is a great way to honor the memory of your loved one, it is no easy task. The already daunting task of writing a eulogy is also exacerbated by the grief weighing down on you. Often, people do not know where to start when preparing a eulogy. How do you write a eulogy?

Get Your Thoughts Out

There is so much to say about your loved one. Many times, people are overwhelmed with trying to find the right stories to tell or the right things to say. When you sit down to prepare your eulogy, start by making a list of potential things to talk about. You may feel like you have a million things to talk about, or you may feel like you are at a loss for words. Both are perfectly normal. Making a list can help you flesh out your ideas. Putting your ideas to paper can help you express your feelings and can be helpful in working through grief.

Look up Examples

Thankfully, there are tons of examples and templates for eulogies out there. You can find some from the funerals of famous people. Some people will post their eulogies online. You can even find some on YouTube. Looking at examples can help you get a feel for how you want yours to be. 

Draft Your Eulogy

Create a draft of your eulogy. Most eulogies are about 1,000 words or so. There are a few things that you should cover. Firstly, introduce yourself. Then, give a mini-biography of your loved one. Common aspects mentioned here include their family, spouse, schools, where they grew up, where they went to school, and their career.

Write down some positive memories you have of your loved one. Talk about who they were to you. What were some of their greatest achievements? What was their happiest moment? What will they be remembered for? How have they helped others? Do you have any memorable quotes or sayings that they were known for?

Next, you should thank those in your loved one’s life. You may want to acknowledge loved ones who took care of them towards the end. You should thank the spouse and parents of the deceased.

Finally, say goodbye. This will not be easy to stand up and say. It will not be easy to write down. But it is important for the grieving process, and it lets your audience know that you are wrapping it up.

Feedback and Practice

Talk with a trusted friend or family member, and ask them to read over your eulogy. They can help you clean it up and make it stronger. They can also tell you if you should change or omit anything. When you are pouring raw emotion onto the page, it is good to have someone to help you make it more presentable. You probably won’t be too focused on grammar when you are writing it, but your friend or family member can help you fix it up. Make the changes you feel are needed and follow the suggested of your loved one to make sure that it is good to go. Write it or print it out.

You should also practice your speech out loud, whether alone or with your editor. It will help you get the words out and may alleviate some of the pressure. Even standing in front of the mirror can be helpful.

Pick a Support Person

Eulogies, and funerals in general, can be incredibly emotional. Pick a friend or family member that will be in attendance to help you. Have them sit close, and give them a copy of your eulogy. If you become emotional and cannot continue with your speech, they can step in. When you are giving your eulogy, they can give you a supportive smile when you need it.

Take Your Time

It can be tempting to rush through a speech when in front of a crowd. But, taking your time can make it easier for the audience to understand you. Speak slowly and enunciate.

Crying

If you have to cry during your eulogy, do it. It is perfectly acceptable. It is normal to be hesitant to show emotion in front of others. But a funeral is probably the one place where you will never be judged for crying. Practicing your speech can help you determine where you are most likely to break down, and can help you remain calm at other points. Take a deep breath before you get to the difficult parts. Look to your support person if you need to.

For over 50 years, Matthew Funeral Home has been serving the Staten Island community. We can help with almost every aspect of your loved one’s memorial service. Our family is here to serve yours, every step of the way.

Leave a comment
Name*:
Email:
Comment*:
Please enter the numbers and letters you see in the image. Note that the case of the letters entered matters.

Comments

Please wait

Previous Posts

Sunlight and Combatting Grief

As the weather gets warmer and summer is on the horizon, it is time for many people to schedule vacations and weekend outings. For people dealing with grief and depression, it may seem difficult to...

Grief and Selfishness

Grief is a complex emotional state. For many people, grief can bring out different sides of us. And while grief is not an excuse to act out, or be a bad person, it can often be a defense mechanism....

The First Mother's Day Without Her

Mother’s Day is a time we celebrate those who devoted their lives to caring for us, and for bringing us into the world. But it can also be a solemn reminder after the passing of your mother. The lo...

Can I be Both Cremated and Buried?

While most people assume you have to choose between burial or cremation at the end of life, there are more options available. One is to choose both. You can choose burial and cremation together. Be...

Retiring In Stages

Retiring at 65 has been a common aspect of the American lifestyle for generations, but full retirement at that age may not be in the cards for everyone. With costs of living consistently on the ris...

Funeral Planning for the LGBTQ+ Community

When it comes to end-of-life services, it is important to have a plan in order. This can be especially true for many LGBTQ+ people. In the event of your passing, your wishes should be upheld for yo...

Identifying Signs of A Stroke

Stroke is a leading cause of death in the US, killing 1 person in America every 3.5 minutes. The risk of stroke can increase as you age. For the safety of you and your loved ones, it is important t...

Donating Your Body To Science

Body donation is a process that very few Americans decide to participate in. But, it is a practice that can lead to advances in medical science, improved medical training procedures, and more. This...

Using Coping Mechanisms for Grief

When you hear the term “Coping Mechanism,” it is often in a negative context. However, that is not always the case. Coping mechanisms can help you deal with the short-term effects of grief. When us...

What To Expect at a Graveside Burial Service

A graveside burial service, also sometimes referred to as a committal service, is an essential part of the funeral service for some cultures. Primarily seen in catholic services, the commital is a ...