Losing a Sibling

By: Matthew Funeral Home
Monday, July 13, 2020

Grief is a very normal response to losing a loved one, but when you lose a sibling; your grief can be confusing. The loss of a sibling can be painful, and hard to overcome. But you have the right to grieve for your sibling. The role siblings play in each other’s lives can be messy, and that is OK. 

Survivor Guilt

Many siblings, especially older ones, experience what is called survivor’s guilt. Survivor’s guilt is when you feel guilty for being alive when someone else passes. You may think a lot about “what if” this, and “if only” that. You may even feel responsible. Many people feel like they should have been able to prevent the loss of a loved one. But most of the time, it just happens. Life, and death, are not often something that we get to control. It is important to understand that you are not to blame for the loss of your loved one.

The Void of a Sibling

Siblings provide us with a lot of laughs, pain, support, and anger throughout our lives. But deep down, there is almost no one else in the world who you would fight harder for. Often, they feel the same way. Whether or not you were close to your sibling when they passed, that love and support are no longer there when you need it most. That void can be extremely difficult to deal with. Grief can be an avenue towards even more pain if you let it take control of your life. But it is important to keep fighting because they would want you to.

Redefined Roles

When a sibling passes away, it often changes the dynamic of the entire family. You may have to overcome your grief, as well as a whole new set of challenges. You may have new responsibilities. You may be the eldest child to aging parents now. You might have to take care of your nieces and nephews. You may have inherited property or business from them. Change and stress can exacerbate grief. It is important to try to develop new routines that can help you work through these new challenges while getting your own life back on track. 

Fear of Disease

When a loved one dies of a genetic disease like cancer, cystic fibrosis, or Alzheimer’s; it can be important to talk with your doctor, to see if you are at risk. However, sometimes a surviving sibling will become extremely worried that they will develop the disease as well. This can be a great motivator to change a diet or to alter the negative aspects of one’s life, but this fear can also be debilitating. It is important to not let the fear of developing cancer or another genetic disease take over your life.

The author of this post is not a professional therapist or counselor. For assistance in finding a grief counselor that is right for you, there are a number of resources out there. For our Grief Resource Center, written by Dr. Bill Webster, click here

For over 50 years, Matthew Funeral Home has been serving the Staten Island community. We can help with almost every aspect of your loved one’s memorial service. Our family is here to serve yours, every step of the way.

Leave a comment
Name*:
Email:
Comment*:
Please enter the numbers and letters you see in the image. Note that the case of the letters entered matters.

Comments

Please wait

Previous Posts

How to Choose a Good Funeral Home

When a loved one passes, or when pre-planning your own funeral, it is important to choose a funeral home that you are comfortable with. While dealing with the loss of a loved one, planning a funera...

Talking to Your Children About Cancer

    When a loved one is diagnosed with cancer, it can be hard for the whole family to process. But if you have young children, you may have to approach the news differently. The conc...

Why do People Look Different In the Casket?

When attending a funeral for a loved one, it is not uncommon for people to think that the body in the casket looks a bit different from their loved one. The reason for this is both real and psychol...

Tips for Grieving During the Holidays

The holiday season is here. For many, it is a light at the end of shorter days and cold, blistering nights. But when dealing with the loss of a loved one, the holidays can sting. Celebrating a holi...

Winter Safety for the Elderly

Winter is almost here, and with cold weather comes safety risks for elderly individuals. Between icy paths and freezing temperatures, it can be important to help your older loved ones stay safe in ...

Memorial Services for Veterans

As Veteran’s Day approaches, we wanted to share information on veteran memorial services and funerals. A big part of planning a funeral for veterans or servicemembers is the memorialization of thei...

Choosing a Casket for Your Loved One

Choosing a casket is an important part of the funeral process. Many families choose the casket after their loved one has passed, but some people choose their casket ahead of time. This article will...

Grief and Tragic Backstories in Media

From superheroes to romantic comedies, many movies and TV shows rely on tragedy to help us connect or sympathize with characters. Grief of some form, or a tragic past leads a character on a path. E...

Alcohol Use and Coping with Grief

While in grief, many people turn to things that can comfort or distract them. It is not uncommon for some people to reach for alcohol in this way. For many people, alcohol can serve as a way to avo...

Apathy and Grief

On this blog, we often talk about how grief is a complicated emotion, and how everyone experiences it differently. However, we don’t often talk about grief and apathy. Apathy is a state of numbness...